Is this chapter okay?

I think that you are a really great writer. I do have some advice though. This book reminds me alot of the Evermore series. It has way too many resemblences. I would stay away from literary connections because it could be considered copyright and you could get i alot of trouble. also you would bore every one who has read the book that you connected with. I do think you are great at writing just remember to make that writing your own.